Troubled Waters

Quote Originally Posted by ProtoStar:

Been leaping some rope today boys.  I'm not in shape and I'm starting to feel like I am middle aged.  Walked outside, took out my rope, and started hopping along.  Up and down the street I went, stopping only to catch my breath and recover.  Some neighborhood girls had thought I was a hired clown for a birthday party, and started skipping and laughing along with me. 

It was a bit awkward, especially when I realized I could not keep up with them and fell over my rope trying to keep up.  There are rain gutters on the side of nearly every street, and when I fell face forward I went straight inside a gutter and got lodged in there.  Couldn't get out and my face (along with half my body) was inside this gutter.  Stuck if you will. 

I don't know why but when I get in trouble or scared, I start yelping like a hurt dog.  The little neighborhood girls thought it was funny and all part of a clowns act (WTF????), so they ran over and started trying to push me completely into the sewer.  I yelped as loud as I could, and pleaded with the mean girls.  They started kicking me.  A couple kicks landed straight on my balls as I laid there stuck, and this triggered the ole' fight or flight syndrome in me.

So I gained an incredible amount of strength, dislodged myself by twisting into a pretzel like formation, and ran as fast as I could.  I left the rope and everything.  When I got home my wife slapped me for scaring the girls who were now crying because they found out I was really not a clown (well not the type of clown they wanted).

I'm not sure where this ranks in my life's "diary of a dufus in full conundrum", but it sure is a bit disturbing as I think back.  I will try again to put this episode behind me but the fuse is getting shorter.

Tonight as I drift off to sweet symphony, I will imagine a tender roni and yearn for the days of yore.  I will reach and holler while I get my Z's, and hope for the real thing, not just a tease.

Secret Lovers

very much rofl...

Thanks Biscuit.  Very intimidating when surrounded by people kicking you, even if they are 9 year old girls.

Dopay my tender ronay would be something like this, back from the Days Of Yore.  Got me?

I would command a dance floor like David Boway.  I'd be like..... Let's Dance. 

In all seriousness the only time I ever danced was when absolutely rolling through the sky on E and just couldn't help myself.  I felt like I was Michael Jackson and James Brown combined out there.  After it really kicked in though I had to sit down and just stared into the air for 3 hours.  I had taken a bit too much but rolling will give you the best time of your life no matter what you do.

Okay I'm in a bit of a somber mood right now.  Crying a bit.  Gonna have to leave it at that.  Tonight will be a long struggle with EBB for control of the telepathic airwaves bouncing through the prism of this dimension.  Let's hope I come out on top.  You will know either way but I am prepared to go door to door if I have to.

Roxanne

scanners...

I like mashed potatoe's

https://youtu.be/mQBKpV9emKc

just checking in....

stay gold

Not alot of dirt shooting going on in here.......

Dopay what on earth am I looking at with your avatar?  Never know what to expect from you.  Maybe it's time for a glance in the mirror Dopay, and think about what kind of craziness an avatar like that may incite.  Unreal

Lately I have been trying to bring back memories and feelings I had growing up.  Really good feelings I had and nice, cozy memories.  When I hone in on a feeling and capture it, I try to keep it as long as I can.  I remember going to the mall and into the arcade with friends.  It was just a good feeling, I can't describe it.  We would spend the whole day there, then go home at night and stay up all night watching Cinemax or HBO.  The soft porn they had on then, at night, on weekends.  I must have been 11 years old. 

I remember getting extremely horny and did not know what that feeling was but it felt good.  I didn't know what it was like to ejaculate yet, so I still was not sure about the girl thing but I knew I really liked them and especially with their clothes off.

Just thinking about the past and the good feelings I had, it all makes me wanna cry.  I couldn't capture a feeling from the past earlier and threw my wallet at the wall.  I'm glad my cell phone was not in reach.  I laid on the cold floor and just stared at the ceiling, wondering what I could do to break the monotony of the day.  There was nothing so I figured I was better off asleep.  Went to sleep and had a decent dream. 

I really miss the days of yore.  I wish I could turn back the clock, back to the days of yore.  Happy Days.  If I could start over from about 87 I would really enjoy that.  But it is not in the cards.  I must move on, but how can I without lots of money?

We Can Dance

so true proto...so true...great post...

it's Elmo on that stuff Salty gets down at the gas station,saliva sativa or whatever its called,and yes its a step down from that nice nerdy feller and a far cry from that skinny negro and fat circus woman.Which i believe is in the top ten avatars of all time. 1987  sheet

My best shot at shooting the dirt:

I'm a senior in College (University of Oregon), my goups of friends are out at a campus bar.  A female group of our friends are also out.  Sorrority chicks, there is probably 10 or so of them.  There's a girl that out with them who I've only seen a couple of times and only talked to once.  I'm rapping with her and we seem to be hitting it off.

Proto is gonna get a stiffy, Buster you go boy!!

DOPAY  DOPAY  new av

As the night goes along people start to leave and soon it's just me and her and one of her friends.  I'm making headway thinking I got a good shot with my chick when the bar closes.

As we are leaving I find out my chick doesnt live at the sorrority but her friend does, but my chicks car is parked at the sorrority.  We agree to walk the other chick to the sorrority, then grab my chicks car and head to her place.

As we begin are 5 minute walk i feel a rather large fart coming on, which I hold in.When we arrive at their house there are 7-10 girls in the living room when we walk in.  I ask where the bathroom is so I can let this fart loose.

I walk down the hall and brace to let it go, and as soon as i go to push it out I feel/hear wetness.  I just shit myself, In a panic I pull down my pants to look at the damage.  Somehow it's all contained in my boxers. 

Not sure what to do, my only option I can think of is to flush my drawers.  I do, and they go down fine.  I'm washing my hands laughing at what happened when I see the toilet water rising.  I go for the shut-off switch under the toilet but there are none.

I'm frozen watching the water rise and when it gets to the top out of nowhere the water recedes and goes back down the toilet.

I hurry out of there, grab my girl and tell her "lets go to your place."  We go and fuck passionately all night (twice). 

2nd craziest night of my life.

Fast-Forwarded 12 years, I'm married to her with 2 kids.

Love you Proto.

Should I punish myself for this?

great dirt shootin busta. u made it worth while to peek in.  

and after pondering for a while im not a fan of hearing that og proto was tryin to sell out to "the man" and have us pay for a subscripton to shootin the dirt. shootin the dirt gives life meaning and a clearer purpose of relevance. it shud be a non-profit organization always and forever...

but being a hypocrite like most humans i am glad to hear proto trying to better himself financially by any means. so whatever floats the boat i must comply.

i know u seen the great flick grosse pointe blank  proto. turn your life around by being a contract hitman. you can do it buddy...

 

proto i love the hatin on my avatars......this one is gonna be around a while....the gift of gifs

Buster, I punish myself regularly, for many different types of things.  If it makes you feel better in the end, then punishing yourself is worth it.  Sometimes I go overboard with the punishment and it's not a pretty sight.  I believe that a small punishment may be in order for that ordeal you had 12 years ago.  It is obviously still on your mind and maybe punishment will help you let go.

ocd, I didn't want to be paid for just posting here.  I wanted to be paid and make videos, along with posting more frequently.  I know I could blow this forum wide open.  But maybe that is not what covers wants.  I am the loneliest punk, and I need a place to vent my frustrations, and covers is my home.  If they want to pay me they know how to reach me.  But I am a pathetic goon of a man, so I am not holding my breath.

So I wanted to see the XMen movie at the theaters now.  I drove to the nearest movie theater and parked.  It was about 11am.  I walked inside and only the employees were there.  I walked up to a gorgeous young lady working a cash register and asked her what time xmen started.  She smiled and said 1pm.  I thanked her and told her she had really pretty eyes and really nice skin.  She got shy and said thank you but then kind of turned away.

This reaction was not what I wanted.  I wanted her to say thank you and stare into my eyes.  Then you know they want to be with you.  7 years ago she would have gotten lost in my eyes.  Today I am a middle aged drug addict and it shows.  I teared up and walked out.  I looked around to see if maybe somebody noticed me starting to cry, and maybe wanted to hold me.  There was nobody.  I got in the car and stared into the blue sky filled with clouds.  I wondered to myself if I would ever again be truly happy.

Tonight I find myself devastated over the rejection by the young girl.  Maybe I need to lose weight and start exercising.  You see if I could see the future and win money by sports gambling, I would then be able to get these women by wearing gold and asking them if they want to be free from money worries.  I know young women want freedom from money trouble.  Everyone wants this. 

Because I cannot yet see the future of sporting events and then wager on the results I see, I feel like I am going to pitch a fit very soon, a fit that may involve me throwing shoes in a shoe store at the mall.  I will also protest by not cutting the grass in my yard anymore.  Maybe then I can start to see the future.  Only time will tell.

Now it is time to listen to the Bangles for about 45 minutes while I feel sorry for myself.

Eternal Flame

20 airsoft pellets to my back from my nephew.  Hopefully that's enough.  If not let me know,

Mets/Phils ov 8 FWIW.

Mets/Phils ov 8 FWIW.

Buster...do you live in a trailer park?... let me get this straight...you married a woman you banged during a one night stand after blowing hot shit all over yourself...the aroma must have been tantalizing for both of you...and she brought you back to her apt...lol....and you made passionate love to her... 

proto. my man ...this particular story brought a tear to my eye socket...

MP you are right this is quite disturbing as I retrace the events that took place during this one night in the Pacific NorthWest, not so long ago, yet so long ago. 

Buster you have a wife that will put up with nearly everything, that is one plus.  As a negative I will put this out there for you to consider.  I do not think pellets will suffice here Buster.  Maybe a few cannon shots to the groin from your nephew for what transpired.  If you need help finding a cannon give me a shout.

Dopay!  WTF man?  Avatar is still there, blinding my eyes.  Buster if you will, once you obtain the cannon, fire a few blasts Dopay's Way (Like Carlito's Way, get it?) until he understands that the fat woman will not suffice. 

Buster great call on the Mets Phillies over.  Buster can you see the future? 

Boston/Tampa Bay tonight boys.  I need this one so I can tenderize a Tender Ronay.  Moneyline, Runline, Total, I don't discriminate.  A winner.

Intergalactic