Troubled Waters

"dopa needs to get it carlitos way"...proto...you crack me up

I have another story for Proto.  I went to a local Starbucks with outdoor seating to sit down and read the sports section wondering if there was any information which would allow me to win big on some baseball.  Instead I was distracted by this Asian chick who was about 5'10" and tall and here tits were literally overflowing over her lace bra and silk blouse.  I mean these were natural, the type that bounced ever so slightly as she giggled.

Man, I'm so tired of fake tits, I'm dying to get my hands on some soft, real ones.

Unfortunately, this chick was all dolled up and sitting on the lap of some guy who looked like the son of a retired Mob boss or something.  Slick backed hair and an attitude, wearing an expensive watch and all.

Then it all hit my like a ton of bricks.  This guy probably inherited a bunch of money from his mafia family and probably never has to work.  He probably has no money worries so he doesn't even bother looking at the sport section and is probably unaware of the NFL and NBA lockouts.  Money just rolls in for this guy, probably direct deposited from a trust account or something.

These young chicks with killer bodies can just smell a guy who has money and doesn't have to work, gamble, or hustle to get ahead.

What are the odds that some 26 yr. old chick with her tits popping the buttons on her silk blouse is going to walk over to my table and talk to some gambling addict who is obsessed daily with odds, scores, and moneylines?

Made me remember what it was like in my youth, I was a good football star and had lots of hope and adequate attention from good looking girls.  Hoped one day I was going to grow up and be an executive with a 6 figure salary.  Instead, I'm constantly hustling, cajoling, and figuring out a way to beat one system after the next.  Girls can smell the desperation of guys like me and its like DDT repellent.

On the other hand, carefree jerks like I saw today who has the money rolling into his bank account with zero risk have some type of aura that attracts chicks who can instantly smell easy money.

I went back home, fell on the couch, and dreamed I was a famous professional gambler like that guy they featured on 60 minutes the other night.

You bet. Id love to get her soap!

this would qualify as a no-frills knock-off costco version of protostar...still has merit though...

Do the right thing covers team.

Proto,every so often i dream of finding money or valueables. What does it mean? I desire things often but i dont dream about them. Except for box

Well I wanted to bet on some professional foozball today, just to extinguish the urge to gamble.  So I remembered that I had some money in my trusty BetJamaica account.  Guys let me tell you, if there is one place you can trust to be there for you to gamble on foozball, it is Betjamaica.  Never will they leave you alone in this world. 

So with a smile on my face I typed in betjamaica into my browser and came to the site.  It looked very different this time.  So I logged in and thought I was hallucinating.  It said dear ProtoStar, we are leaving your country.  Click here to bet on foozball at another place.  I started crying, then threw the computer down the hall and through a closed window.  I ran outside and screamed to the top of my lungs "WHHHHYYYYYYY?????????".  I then collapsed in the street.  My wife had to pull me out of the street by my legs, so the mean car drivers could get by.

Now in a state of panick, I ran and got the computer, brought it back inside, made some repairs, and went back to betjam.  I typed in my secret codes and then started screaming foozball at the screen, over and over.  It did not change anything.  I still could not bet on foozball.

There was a letter addressed to me on the screen but I was too upset to read it.  I collapsed again right there in the den.  I crawled to the sink and stuck my head under the water.  Then I crawled to the shower and turned it on, all the way cold, with my clothes on.  I wanted to wake up from the nightmare, but it was not to be.  My wife said I passed out on the couch, in my bathrobe, sucking my thumb, and crying softly.  In my sleep she said I was sucking thumb, and saying foozball over and over.

Tender Roni, where are you now in this darkest hour?  Tender Roni, I need you more than ever.  Caress me darling, caress me tenderly.

Mr Telephone Man 

  

Continuation of the sad post above.  It's so sad guys, it is so very hard to accept.

Biscuit it means you are a sick person.  A sick man and greed has taken you over.  Welcome to the club biscuit, and congratulations your life is officially over.  Now you can start making posts about the days of yore, it is all you have left.  That and the lottery.

MXKid that story sounds familiar.  I know what it means to yearn for the years of yore, that is a certainty. 

MP you continue to be a rock.  When I find myself struggling in these troubled waters, I swim to the MP rock in the middle of the sea, and find a short amount of rest.

And i thought i was the only one who liked Mr Telephone Man. I'm going to the casino tonight Proto, more of a social thing than a serious attempt to earn some cash. But if i do i will call you on the telephone man.

 its my pleasure proto...

Yelling foozball at the screen had little effect?

proto,

thank you for the old school New Edition.......I always felt Ralph Tresvant had a great voice and was very underrated...

my local Jack in the Box gave me a VIP card today,I now get a 15% discount on my orders....

I don't know if that should make me happy or make me re-think where I am in life

stay strong, proto, stay strong

Dytide do you think it would be worthwhile that we draft a we need you Ralph grass roots movement? Count me in, i can sing a little bit like him

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFxJ5APKj8U

 

buscuit I would not put it past you to know my phone number.  As an alpha male you get these pieces of information to use in case you need to push people around.  Buscuit there is no need to push me around I have already folded.

DEVASTATION, YEARNING, and stroking genitals is ineffective.  Render me unconscious in a sea of your sweet kisses, tender roni.  Upheave a gorgeous canopy if need be.  A man of my caliber is only here to be a leech. 

Tender Roni, guide your sweet hands tenderly as I strike my shinbone with a small hammer.  Nevermind the hollering, it is for the best. 

Tender Ronay I am a boy amongst men, stroke me tenderly darling for I am a peon at my finest moment.  Take is slow Tender Ronay, for I bring nothing but empty promises and when cornered I will not fight.  If it comes down to you or the praries, I choose to let my penis flop from side to side.  This, you see, is what it is all about. 

Guys what do you think?  It is a love letter I have written to a tender ronay.  

Buscuit, fear not, for you are a man of testosterone, while I am a man of estrogen.  Fear not, I do not threaten you good sir.  Take comfort in the fact that I am a dufus on the loose.  A small person in a big frame.  Mr. Doolittle, this could be my new name. 

dytide you are second only to the loneliest punk when it comes to 80s music.  dytide, do you yearn for a Tender Ronay? 

dytide Tresvant had the best voice.  However it was not until he hit puberty that this became apparent.  Bobby Brown was more of a dancer and showman.  I cry when I think what may have become of New Edition had money not corrupted and separated them.  Tresvant would have led them to stardom. 

Me and Bobby B. have something in common.  We both yearn for the days of yore.  We both took a wrong path in life and never corrected. 

Here is the number 12 band of all time on protostar's list.  This song is actually their 9th best of all time, according to the loneliest punk.  Certainly the best punk band of all time. 

Rock the Casbah

Sex Pistols were great but did not have nearly the amount of hits.  How many bands can you name that would have this song not even in their top 5?  Not many.  Maybe Nirvana, Wu Tang, Souls of Mischief, Rolling Stones pre 80's, Beatles, and Radiohead.  Radiohead being number 1.  SOM number 2. 

I remember the first SOM and WuTang album I bought, each within a week of each other.  My friend told me, these are going to be 2 of the best albums you have ever heard even when you grow old, but you will think they are trash on the first listen.  By the 5th listen you won't want to listen to anything else.  And it was true.  93 til infinity and 36 chambers suck the first time you listen to them.  It is because the beats are so good your body doesn't want to accept it at first.  Little did I know that both Wu Tang and Souls would each come out with 4 or 5 other albums just as good as the first. 

SOM-A name I call myself

This is a typical SOM song.  They are good guys but they are honest.  They are opposite the typical rapper.  They won't tell a lie.  This might be the best beat ever put on a track.  Guys when you listen to songs off youtube, you have to plug in headphones.  Especially here.  The beat is incredible, it was made in 1992 and will still be ahead of its time in the year 3000.  This song took me 3 listens before it clicked.  I couldn't listen to it on certain drugs I felt like I was going to die from the rush it gave me.

Put your ipod headphones into computer and try to catch the beat.  If you smoke weed, smoke then but the song on repeat.  It is so complicated it will take you 3 or 4 listens to understand that it is made by a man who will one day be considered on par with Paul McCartney as a song writer.  Possibly better.  When it came out, the rest of the album was unreal great, and this song was one I didn't like.  Then my friend called and said "miles to the sun sucks then it is the best song I've ever heard man, I have listened to it 8 times in a row, i swear it is the best."  So I listened again and I called him back and said the beat is abstract, no flow to it.  He said, proto listen to it 3 more times.  I did and on my 3rd or 4th listen finally understood the beat.  It is incredible.  Few songs make me high without taking drugs, this is one.  It is the best song I know of, ever produced. 

Miles to the Sun

The first few verses are them telling you that you are listening to the best, the ultimate source of musical energy.  Miles to the Sun is a description of the song.  The sun being the ultimate energy source and the only thing equal to this song, in this galaxy.  Other rappers and especially other producers are "miles to the sun" in other words not even close to SOM and their capabilities.  Then it switches and they rap about how stupid a life of crime is.  "Now you miles from the sunSOM has 4 members and a 5th who only produces.  When Rakim, who is known as one of the best rappers of all time was interviewed and they asked him why he quit, he said because SOM, Wu Tang, and Freestyle Fellowship had made his lyrical abilities obsolete.  Freestyle Fellowship are known as the best rappers to ever claim the bloods as a set.  The crips have nobody close.  The 3 members of souls who produce all have IQ's above 140.  A plus has an IQ of over 150 according to Rolling Stone magazine.  He produced the 2 songs here.  One of them is incorrectly attributed to a different souls producer.  Phesto said a plus produced them both.

And here is Phesto D claiming to be the best lyricist alive.  He may be right. 

He once told an interviewer who asked him why do you think you are the best?, to pick any subject and how long he wanted him to rap about it.  He picked the subject "atoms" and asked for a 5 minute rap.  Phesto told him to record it because he wouldnt be able to keep up.  He them rapped for over 15 minutes on organic chemistry.  And he rapped it very fast.  It happened again after word got around.  He was asked by MTV Fab 5 freddie to rap about seaweed.  He gave him a 10 minute rap that fab 5 had to stop him with.  When given a beat, he simply rips it apart.  Very few rappers can do this.  Beastie Boys talk about how they wish they could rip the beat like Inspectah Dec from Wu.  Him and U God are my favorites too. 

But Wu fell off and kept going to long.  Now they have ODB's kid rapping with them and he is horrible.  ODB was a top 10 rapper in NYC history.  UGod of Wu being a close number 1 before he started going pop and letting others write his lyrics of course. 

"Famous rappers that have admitted SOM is so far ahead of other rappers there is almost no point in rapping other than money".

1.  RunDMC.  The taller one said SOM was the best he had ever heard.

2.  Pharcyde:  2 of the 4 members here are top 10 rappers ever.  Yet they claim to be light years behind SOM, driving Fatlip to start a cocaine habit (he was being sarcastic)

3.  Snoop Dog and DR Dre.  When snoop came out with his solo album he said SOM was the boys everyone was trying to catch.  Dre shook his head in agreement.  This was after 1 SOM album.  SOM went on to release 4 more albums, 3 of which are as good as the first.  At the time SOM were teenagers.

4.  Wu Tang.  They said they were best and then method man said he had to give props to SOM though.   

5.  Cypress Hill:  Claimed that they were just a money making machine and that SOM on all levels were the best. 

The reason I know this is because when Hieroglyphics released its first group album (Hiero is Del, Casual, Pep Love, SOM, and Dominoe who only produces), the promo for it had all these interviews of groups over the years giving all credit to SOM.  The sick thing is that Del, Casual, and to a lessor extent Pep Love have all released albums that could be considered best rap album ever.  So with that in mind, I will say that Hiero as a group is head and shoulders the best, even better than Wu Tang.  Wu Tang a close second.  Tribe Called quest is up there but they came out with 3 albums before they decided to go pop.  Those 3 albums are as close to SOM as it gets outside of Wu. 

Disclaimer:  If you think rappers have no talent, you are wrong.  Many people have no ear for rap, but like great paintings and art, there are people out there who can "hear it" and give you objective reviews on rappers and also rap beat producers.  Most rappers are crap.  Most people cant hear it and just buy who they think is coolest.  That is why Ludacris, despite being one of the worst rappers ever, had best selling albums.  He has charisma. And that sells rap albums.  I had about 100 friends, close friends when I mattered.  4 of them could hear the rap and pick out SOM as better than 2Pac without me telling them.  2Pac by the way had some good production, but was a horrible rapper.  Biggie was decent rapper and had really good production.  Yet people hold 2pac in the same regard as biggie.  2pac was not in the same arena.  Remember 2pac's first group, digital underground?  He was so bad, I think they only let him rap a few verses on their albums.  He was a dancer most of the time.  He made himself something he wasn't.  Then when he got hot, Dr. Dre produced for him to make money.  Dre has produced many rappers and the best yet remain in his original group.  MC Ren of NWA is the most talented rapper to ever rap over a dre beat.  Eminem was good, not great.  Snoop Dogg was horrible, benefitted from his cool personalilty and ability to charm.  For those that think eminem was one of the best, NO.  He couldn't freestyle anything.  He was decent.  I never heard him rip a beat though.  He is very passive and doesnt know how to rip a beat.  He tries but never did it.  I've heard it all. 

This is ripping a beat.  Its Phesto D, probably the best rapper that will ever live.  He starts off being sarcastic, he is making fun of typical rappers when he talks about scalping tickets.  Then he fucking rips it.  Not many catch this fact that he is not being himself at first, and many fans were like WTF?  I knew it instantly.   A song with the name Phesto D is going to be complex and it is going to rip.  Or else he would not have done it.  Simple verses first (making fun of ludacris, eminem) and then you get the contrast.  He breaks out.  YOu can hear it when it happens.  This man would rip apart any rapper on this planet.  And he is almost 40.  IQ over 140 and you can easily tell because he has a vocabulary like I've never heard before and its all used in the right context.  many rappers use big words but not correctly.  The short song is a short summary of what I said above.  Just because a guy has been shot 5 times and lived, dont make him a good rapper.  The last thing phesto says is to "face the verdict", which is obviously that he is the best rapper alive, in every facet, every category.

Phesto D

Let it be clear that the name of the song is phesto D.  He adds the D when he wants to make a point of being the best.  Phesto is his name.  Phesto D is the rapping genius inside.

 proto my man ...is this yer manifesto?

 

This is a shout out for the poor bastard Iwin...he has been caged up for awhile in the penalty box...lets all go down there and show that true gangsta some love...

Proto your flavor of music is impeccable......True gangster.

Proto...can you make a rare guest appearance for me in Iwin's thread...he needs a little boost...

https://www.covers.com/postingforum/post01/showmessage.aspx?spt=41&sub=101097341&page=2

I heard that he's real buff now and covered with tats.

og proto...

som...

east bay cali b*tch here that chilled from '93 til...