The Joe Biden Diary

Yes it is Mugg! Yes it is!

The Lastest entry in Joe Biden’s diary :

today I took my feet off and used them as a special space telephone to call Mars . I organized a treaty for peace , but more importantly I traded 300 pounds of Spaghetti-O’s to them for one of their peasant women that has 8 different orifices . Luckily she has a beautiful mane of hair that I can sniff if all of those holes that she has are dried up like the inside of Snoop Dogg’s mouth after he hits too much Chronic . Damn how I love those circular bits of pasta heaven though ……I may just have to lie and say that they sent me something with alien balls , and that it’s not a female at all so that I can get out of this mess that I made , but maybe not cuz I’ll do anything to make Hunter happy , and boy oh boy he got really excited when he saw the crack ……of her ass in that picture that they sent . StarLog 69 I’m audi……

According to fact checker politifact, video has altered images and sounds to mislead viewers.  Meta has flagged this video as fake news.

@sundance

 Why doesn't  that surprise me. 

Biden comes across as  a Class a number 1 prick.  

.

Here we go! The following is what happens when we have an illegitimate President of the United States!

Ordering the Selected Reserve and Certain Members of the Individual Ready Reserve of the Armed Forces to Active Duty | The White House

You damn dirty apes won’t be satisfied till you start a nuclear war 

I ain’t puttin’ a good word in for any of you motherfuckers when I get to the good place ….

You can all rot in purgatory forever like those pear shaped goofs at Walmart do in those long lines because there’s a sale on Cool Ranch Doritos 

See ya later to the life inside of the bodies of some people because grown men can’t competently lead …..

and who instead put their own selfish desires for power and greed above the needs and safety of innocent people …..

may the scorching heat of hell’s immense and torturous flames melt the skin clinging to your bodies till it resembles the mozzarella cheese sticking to that first slice of pizza that gets cut when it’s fresh and hot out the oven 

I live amongst monkeys and I try to teach them as I swing and Tarzan around the jungle , but these Janes are not all good , but then again I’m not Jane Goodall 

I need to do better I guess 

Meanwhile Joe is in Finland seeking out little girls in the crowd to nibble on.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12300283/Joe-Biden-pretends-gobble-little-girl-sniffing-Finland.html

Another Pedocrat sighting in the wild.  

 DJ almost fell asleep while meeting with Israeli Prez Herzog. As Herzog looked up for help, you could see someone off camera poke Biden with a stick to wake him up.

Latest entry in Joe Biden’s diary :

I gotta say I’m a little disappointed in Herzog . Guy didn’t know what the hell I was talkin’ about , and he kept giving me the evil eye like I shit between two slices of Wonderbread and offered him a sandwich when I asked him about baseball . Guy doesn’t look or remind me of someone that could have ever managed a World Series team . For Christ’s sake he looked bewildered when I mentioned Terry Pendleton and said he never heard of Willie McGee . And they say I’m losing it . Wow . And how the hell did he get that name anyway ? Whitey ? What a fucking misnomer . Guy looks like he’s been baking in the hot desert air more than a New Mexico hooker on the highway who’s waiting for a ride . This is bullshit . Kamala knows more about baseball than this fucking guy , and sure that’s only because she slept with Danny Tartubull but even still it’s more . Fuck this country and it’s dry air too . Can’t even get some decent moisture in my CPAP . I’m audi . Peace .

I dont think your joke is hitting the mark on this one, I am old enough to know Herzog but since you didnt mention the Wiz with your Cards reminiscing you are not impressing me here.

The man’s defensive prowess is legendary so I will not expound on that but how about this :

in 1987 at the age of 32 he hit .303 with an amazing 75 RBI , without the benefit of hitting even a single home run .

that’s one bad motherfucker right there 

 The Wizard

You cant mention the 80s and 90s Cards and omit Ozzie...

  Thanks for the heads up, thirdperson! 

wallstreet if we’re gonna be best friends and you expect me to invite you over next Thanksgiving then you gotta cut me a little slack bro . I still might send the invite but now imma put you on the opposing team when we do the Turkey Bowl pal and me and you are gonna go head up , mano y mano ya dig ?

we can laugh about all your bumps and bruises and all that mud stuck in between your two front teeth over a couple of bowls of loudmouth soup and that mighty bird with all the fixins that I conjure up like a fucking wizard bro ….

ok ? My God . Would it make you feel any better if I told you me and Jack Clark AKA “ The Ripper “ became best friends over breakfast at a Hershey Pennsylvania hotel ?

yeah my boy was enthralled with my penchant for the holy and the religious cuz when I started talking about how lovely God’s country was the the guy’s eyes lit up like it was an 87 MPH fastball thrown right down the middle by that herky jerky Kent Tekulve with the Rec Specs ya dig ?

couldn’t get the guy off me . He kept following me around like Lady and the Tramp buddy . Yup . I got in good with my guy Jack , does that earn me any St.Louis Cardinals street cred with you ?

I dont consider Jack Clark a true Cards player, not like Ozzie or McGee or Pendelton lol  but he sure was one of the few big bats for a pitching and stealing approach the Cards had back then.

I got to see a game in the late 80s at Busch stadium, my only in person MLB game of my life.

I’m glad that I could help you relive that wonderful experience with some good old fashioned friendly banter wallstreet .

we are well on our way to becoming best friends pal .

We’ll be out there on a lake somewhere fishing our asses off and talking about all of our past lady conquests , heartbreaks , life regrets , and the exhilarating moments we’ve had as well before you know it .

I’m just putting this out there . If we went to a game together and I caught a foul ball I’d give it to you 

And I wouldn’t even ask for a CrackerJack in return or nothin’……

Now back to the meat and potatoes bro , do you consider Vince Coleman an integral part of that St.Louis team ? Tread carefully . Cuz he’s my guy ….

JOE BIDEN SAYS; "WE ENDED CANCER AS WE KNOW IT".

One of the things I'm always asked is why Americans have sort of lost faith for a while in being able to do big things. If you could do anything at all, Joe, what would you do? I said I'd cure cancer. They looked at me like, why cancer? Because no one thinks we can. That's why, and we can. We ended cancer as we know it," the president said.

When Old Yeller went 'around the bend', they shot Him and everybody cried................Hello President Harris...

The Latest Entry in Joe Biden’s Diary :

I’m gonna end up fighting the guy who cooks in the kitchen here cuz he keeps putting paprika on my pork and I specifically asked him not to because my irritable bowel syndrome won’t allow it and it’s embarrassing when the nurses have to come by to pick up my undies ……

cuz there’s a doody sludge mess in there resembling that delicious hazelnut Nutella spread that I so often find myself eating with a spoon when I watch old Press Your Luck reruns on the Gameshow Channel …

I keep giving Becky the head nurse with the club foot and the overbite the awful surprise of finding 3 straight pounds of Biden dookie cookies in there , that are in the shape of a loaf of bread like Mama used to make …..

I just want the staff to respect me and I don’t want them to have to deal with my stinky dung cakes that are the size of a small chihuahua …..

is that so wrong ?

I’ll tell you what bro , I’m gonna get that Chef Hector if it’s the last thing I do , and it might be , cuz I’m an old man now , but trust me if it was the 1940s when I was younger I woulda boxed that guy into submission with multiple shots to his dome bro . Maybe I’ll tell Hunter to call one of his “ city people “ to handle it for me …

The worst part about all of this my Dear Diary ? I wrote this entire entry sitting on a stack of crap rocket the size of half the circumference of a Michelin tire …….

and I look like Phil Jackson resting his glutes on that special chair that he used for coaching that sat him higher than everybody else cuz he had a bad back …..I hate it .

I’m audi , I gotta go , I can see the ice cream truck just rolled up on the lawn . Peace ……