spockgato

Let Pete and Barry in . And Clemens . and all of the others that truly deserve it that played during the steroid era . Like “ greenies “ weren’t a thing .

But fuck that Rafael Palmero son , cuz ain’t nobody wavin’ a finger at me that many times with such fervor unless it’s Smokey The Bear telling me that only I can prevent forest fires .

And I’m not even altogether sure that is 100 percent true so fuck that hibernating motherfucker too .

How ‘bout you not sleep on the job Smoke ?

So you can do what you gotta do ?

What ? stuff can’t burn down in the winter or somethin’ you lazy piece of shit ?

Da fuck ?

Merry Christmas third . 

I’m not a Republican ……

and I don’t have “ a group  “ .

In fact I’m the epitome of not partisan . 

Yo you’re gonna get bullied and then quit ?

c’mon man , what if Rocky just gave up and threw in that towel in order to save Apollo from being mauled to death by Ivan Drago …..

oh wait , nevermind ……

but um , we woulda never got that cool flashback scene where he sees it all play back again in his mind while he’s speeding around in his manual transmission black Ferrari as that snazzy rock song from the soundtrack plays .

so there’s that . Yo there’s a message in there somewhere . 

I got arrested for farting too close to the pork loins in the meat section at my local supermarket . 

These guys in here that go against Trump gotta be hurting . 

I don’t know . I still consider Barry Bonds the home run champ . Fuck that asterisk . 

“ Double cheese and sausage ? “

” Right here dude . “

I can’t believe they’re silencing you my little lamb . It leaves me dumbfounded and awash in horror . I’m attempting to circumnavigate through the rationale as to why your posts are being altered and shrunken down to nothing , till they eventually disappear , evaporating into nothing altogether …….kinda like Michael Jackson’s nose .

Can we get some answers ? Deb ? Tammy ? Superbeets ? The Minnesota Vikings mod ?

please elaborate with specifics as to what is actually happening with the Operator’s threads .

please do your best Lionel Richie and say ……..aw hell you know what to say ……

I wouldn’t ask Ben Hogan any of that because he’s just gonna tell you to go fuck yourself . It’s just not worth it in my opinion . I don’t know why he does it .

Maybe his father came home after a long day at the factory making dildos and he was tired and angry when a young Ben Hogan saw him come through the door and said “ Hey Pappy , can we have a catch ? “ 

to which the reply was “ Go Fuck Yourself “

I don’t know, it’s just speculation , because we as human creatures are just artists of the mimic .

you feel me ?

First off never say “ pretty neat “ . It makes you sound like you’re wearing a cardigan , it’s the 50s , and we’re going to the malt shop later to play the jukebox and drink milkshakes and hopefully MaryJo will be there with her pointy bra that’s holding in her big tits . 

Now onto the video . Little girl was alright . I got a little cousin like that . I appreciated her attitude . Especially when she told her pop “ canta “ which means sing , and then she gave him that wave of the hand like “ aww fuck you then “ because he just sat there motionless , because he was either disinterested or the mushrooms were just beginning to kick in ……

but come on you know what I’m gonna say …….

Where are the seatbelts ?

Did I not see them ?

Is anybody wearing them ?

Somebody hit that dad with an adrenaline shot to the heart and wake his comatose corpse up for just long enough to make a surprised facial expression because he’s finally alert enough to notice nobody is harnessed into any safety restraints .

My Goodness . And I thought the guy I watched last week playing that Connect 4 game on the center console against his passenger was dangerous .

What’s wrong with people ?

Yo leventis72 is gluten free brother , so he ain’t gettin’ nowhere near a biscuit , but the call for the punani is strong in him , as he cherishes it and lusts after it …..

and when one of those cooch monster baby factory octopi minus the 8 legs or tentacles has a particularly strong odor or aroma , it’s not out of the question to see that motherfucker loft himself up into the air like Bugs Bunny or Tom or Jerry does in one of them cartoons when they smell the neighbor dog’s fresh made baked pie and float towards it  ….

What it do

Well I’ll be working my glutes just in case , for when that day comes .

Imma get em like bubble steel , like the rare 1954 Corvette with the funny top that all the ladies dropped their panties in , while being heavy petted by their significant other on that Blueberry Hill .

Ya dig ?

me and you pal . I’m your Butch Cassidy .

Wait , was that Robert Redford ?

Cuz he is pock marked upon the face if I recall correctly , and my skin is damn near flawless and doesn’t have a wrinkle , because I’m not surprised by anything , so I hardly have any creases on that motherfucker cuz them facial muscles when you can’t believe something nary get used .

Understood ?

So I can’t ride with that comparison although homeboy was considered a “ Ladies Man “ and I can definitely dig that but come on…..

I don’t care how many baseballs you hit into the lights till they explode like some dramatic fireworks display while inspiring music plays in the background , as the ladies in the stands get all wet just sittin’ there in their seats , because some asshole craterface running around the bases in slow motion like he’s got mudbutt , and doesn’t want the poop sludge that’s just hangin’ on the exit there to drip out like his anus is some kind of faulty yogurt machine just ain’t me . 

cuz i can’t be compared to someone that has the face that looks like it’s ready for a lunar landing .

ya feel me on that at least sundance ?

cuz I’ll be your Butch , and you can call me that , but let’s get this straight , I ain’t American because your names don’t mean shit , and I just can’t feel that . 

ya heard ?

With all these curves I got you ain’t gonna feel me dogg ? Hey yo you got an iron will bro . I betcha you’re the kind of guy that can open a bag of Lay’s Potato Chips and eat just one .

Amirite ?

Like I bet you’re the only guy to ever have existed that said “ Please , just the tip , just let me put the tip in “ and then proceeded to do just that , and only put the tip in .

you’re like a medical marvel , you’re like God’s Freudian slip , a Republican with a conscience , that wants to admonish and abolish the torment that is ….. ya dig ?

how’d you get to be so robust on the originality cousin ? You come out the womb wearin’ puka shells or somethin’ ? Was your first step a crip walk ? God damn homie you’re rewriting the book …….that no one will ever read .

No wonder wallstreet loathes you like the 13 year old kid does his mother when he’s told by her to clean the litter box and he discovers the shit to litter pebble ratio is like 80/20 in favor of the turd nuggets . 

I’m talkin’ clumps of dung , that in their current state of existence look like one of them dry shits you take , but instead of being mediocre and average it’s all dressed up for a night on the town , because it’s mimicking an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen that got turned upside down and dipped into “ the sprinkles “ of whatever the fuck that gravel type substance is that litter is made out of …..

ya heard ?

I’m talkin’ big bumps of dookie excrement that are all knotted up and protruding out of that little stink box that are way worse than whatever the fuck was on Hasim Rahman’s head when he fought Evander Holyfield . 

So come on pal . Stop with the nonsense . Me and you go way back . And while I respect your right to not always feel what I’m saying I just don’t appreciate the curt and sharp dialogue of indifference that you bestowed upon me . I think with our history I just deserved a little more than that from you . 

ya feel me ?

I think you’re rippin’ bongs on your couch while sittin’ in them tighty whities that got the brown spot in ‘em ,

like a mound of chocolate nuzzled up to , and touched ‘em , and then got in it ,
but who we kiddin’ ,
cuz that’s shit bitches , 

so you can call it poopy doo doo boo boos or log flumes with the strong fumes but pause before you do is what I’m spittin’ ,

and cue the funeral music cuz what’s coming from that chute is brutal to humans cuz dude every dook’s another victim …

Ya feel me ?

That’s right . He is . Good point . Stu you are a champion of democracy . I like your style . It’s got chutzpah and a vibrant elasticity to it . I surmise that you are bearing the fruits of your fair and strong qualities during this , your life experience .

Well deserved .

I , with 10 toes on the ground , that all have jagged , overgrown , and misshapen Freddie Kreuger toenails growing from each one , solidly speak and fully endorse you to be covers.com next great moderator .

Good luck to you . I’ll put in a good word for you cuz I got “ The INs “ in with Deb and Tammy . God Bless . 

Too Late .

Cuz this place makes a motherfucker feel like Floyd from the movie True Romance after he has that conversation with James Gandolfini’s character . 

It’s impossible to get a straight answer out of a motherfucker here .

And plus peeps be thinkin’ that they’re smarter than even the fat girl in gym class that got outta doin’ the required activities cuz her mom works at the doctor’s office and asked the head physician to write her daughter a bogus note …..

cuz she’s givin’ head to said physician on the side so homeboy relented , and ejected by the way , and decided to reciprocate “ the dirty deed “ by writing some illegible script as to why the offspring of that mouth artist can’t partake in the physical fitness routines that are necessary to complete that aforementioned course . 

it’s a whole sordid mess .

I’ve spoken with a lot of people in my life . Many that were better at hiding from having to speak the truth than what goes ‘round these parts . There’s no naivety here , or lack of experience with really chopping up any dialogue into mincemeat . I’ve seen all the tricks , and I’ve untangled all the confusing cords of sneaky bastard charlatan antics .

I’ve seen it done to a masterful degree , so what happens within these forum’s walls is not anything groundbreaking , so I ask , with respect , pretty please , with sugar on top to :

” stop con-den-scending me man cuz I’ll fuckin’ skill ya …. “

 Spoken Word

I know a guy from England . A real nice and sweet gentleman .

He’s a decent man and a good fellow that always wears shiny dress shoes no matter the occasion , and in my opinion he is always presenting himself very well with his nice suit pants that accentuate his bum and stuff .

I love to hear him speak too . It’s intoxicating .

His name is Richard .

But I call him TittyGlocks .

I had him spitting up his effeminate spritzer drink one night when I rapped in his voice and made a song about how his big nipples get really hard in the cold weather and look like gun turrets . 

Ah good times .

Except when I was chosen with the task of playing defensive back and covering him while he played wide receiver in a game of backyard football . Not just because the guy is quick and gets in and out of his jukes with those fast twitch squirrel moves that he’s got , but because when he went up “ and Mossed me “ for that touchdown that one time I caught one of his big nipples in my eye . My vision hasn’t been the same since .

fuck you Richard . I was 20/20 .