And now a very important message from Dr. Anthony Fauci:
”Hello and thank you all for being her today.”
”As many of you know, three months ago we believed Covid-19 was not transmissible from person-to-person contact, and it could not be airborne.”
”We were wrong.”
”And in late February, during an interview, I told people there was nothing to worry about. And they could continue to go about their day-to-day routine.”
”I was not correct.”
”The CDC originally told people not to use medical masks. We made you believe that they weren’t useful. But, really we just didn’t want people to buy them all.”
”So, the CDC lied.”
”We issued an announcement, suggesting all stores close immediately, except for those that don’t have to. And, we asked people not to wear gloves.”
”Then we realized we were wrong.”
”We recommended everyone shelter-in-place.”
”But many health experts suggest lots of fresh air and exercise are essential for preventing a respiratory illness.”
”We told you animals couldn’t get the coronavirus.”
”Then a group of tigers got sick.”
”If you are sick you can’t go out. But, you can go to the pharmacy. That makes sense, right?”
”We told you the virus remains active on different surfaces for 2 hours, or possibly 4, or maybe 6, or maybe several days.”
”Honestly, we don’t know.”
”We also told you that we still had no treatment, except that there may be one. That apparently is not dangerous, unless you take too much. Which is the case with all medications.”
”So, that’s Trump’s fault, according to the Democrats.”
”And while we admit we were very wrong in the past, we have a new announcement.”
”A medical expert from Harvard University, says we may have to continue to social-distance until 2022.”
”You trust the medical experts, right?”
“I’m Dr. fauci. I’ll see you all later today, during the Whitehouse press conference, when The Donald and I scream at the reporters.”
”Have a nice day.”