Troubled Waters

I took a shower yesterday.  I hate taking showers.  I only do it when I start to be able to smell myself.  I know this fact is pathetic, but you are reading a post from the king of all things misfortunate and hapless.  I do feel better and just a tad more confident after the shower.  I tend to smell my underarms because the deodorant makes them smell good.  I am supposed to be in the prime of my life, I guess this is it.  What next then?  I'm scared to think about it guys.  Maybe I can starve myself to get the endorphins going. 

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Sorry that is just my frustration coming out.  I guess it was better than putting a hole in the wall.  I look at the young guys at the top of the leaderboard at the Masters.  What a life they live and have to look forward to.  Every girl they meet from now on will want to have their children.  When I found out that there were guys in their early 20's on top of the Masters leaderboard, I hit the floor.  Ok yes I fainted are you happy now?  When I came to I felt very sad over the fact that I am probably past my prime, and jealous of the guys playing golf.  I pouted for the rest of the day and just felt sorry for myself.  I was on the couch.

Don't feel bad good people, there could be a temporary solution just around the bend.  It involves a nutty bunch of nits, are you up to the challenge?  Probably not, this challenge requires an inordinate amount of collapsing.  Rebounds of rage will only lead to a lengthy stay in the rubber room, oh what an endeavor.  You simply can't sugarcoat this enough.

Big Cheese

no matter how bad it gets, come out singing.

Cat Stevens - Trouble

Proto...new day

ebb=mind control...he was imprisoned proto...for molesting

Mike I know what this seems like.  It is true that EBB has had communications with me telepathically and yes, he is a very effective persuader.  But the yearning for soft skin, a pretty face, nice hair, hourglass figure, and big butt has been there for a very long time.  Since I was about 14 years old if I remember correctly.  So I am yearning for women, not young girls. 

Oh boy you bring back my first masturbation memory.  I was laying there in bed and just got to feeling so horny for the first time so I started stroking!  Then wow!  That event screwed me for the rest of my life mike.  It really gave me a reason to start paying attention to girls and put up with their yapping.  Before then I never understood why a guy would even want a girlfriend.  You see Mike I hit puberty that night.  I am really opening up to you Mike, I hope I am not making you uncomfortable. 
 
If it is really true that EBB was arrested and locked up then I am confident they have an innocent man in jail!  Molestation charges?  What the hell happened?  I'm floored, speechless, dumbfounded, stupified, broken hearted, and at a loss for words.  Release EBB!

Electric Relaxation

[Quote: Originally Posted by ProtoStar] Mike I know what this seems like.  It is true that EBB has had communications with me telepathically and yes, he is a very effective persuader.  But the yearning for soft skin, a pretty face, nice hair, hourglass figure, and big butt has been there for a very long time.  Since I was about 14 years old if I remember correctly.  So I am yearning for women, not young girls. 

Oh boy you bring back my first masturbation memory.  I was laying there in bed and just got to feeling so horny for the first time so I started stroking!  Then wow!  That event screwed me for the rest of my life mike.  It really gave me a reason to start paying attention to girls and put up with their yapping.  Before then I never understood why a guy would even want a girlfriend.  You see Mike I hit puberty that night.  I am really opening up to you Mike, I hope I am not making you uncomfortable. 
 
If it is really true that EBB was arrested and locked up then I am confident they have an innocent man in jail!  Molestation charges?  What the hell happened?  I'm floored, speechless, dumbfounded, stupified, broken hearted, and at a loss for words.  Release EBB!

Electric Relaxation


[/Quote]Yes my friend...its true...EBB has been in and out of jail most of his life as he admitted here on covers many times as he leads a troubled life filled with pimping out prostitutes (some underage) and dealing drugs to support his own addications...he currently is back in the pen ironing grilled cheese sandwiches for his boyfriends...not a good time in his life...

Starbucks girls > Chik-Fil-A girls

 

 good to see ya back my brother

proto

shit proto...

Nope Im back and have more freeedom then ever.. Still alive and breathing

Picture this if you can.  Picture this silly man.  Laying on the couch and in the fetal position.  It does help to be in the fetal position, I don't know why.  A whole pack of pacifiers next to me because when I nervously chew a hole in one I just replace it.  It's really tough on me because they don't make adult pacifiers so I have to use a kid's paci.  I think about this fact from time to time and it makes me tear up a little.

The reason for this is because I have been cut off from gambling and now I only stare at the wall.  I slip in and out of sleep all day.  I would watch a movie but too depressed.  I tried ending it again yesterday.  I went outside and started climbing the tree.  I was going to either attain the ability to fly or see what happened when I hit the ground.  However the neighbor thought I was a peeping tom trying to get a look at his daughter.  He let out a rebel yell and then took a shot at me with a small .410 shotgun.  The pellets grazed my left arm and so I grabbed a tree branch with my right.  I started to think I had made a mistake and maybe I didn't want to end my life but I was way up in the tree. 

I hollered because the shotgun blast hurt and also because I was struggling to hold myself up with only my right arm.  Meanwhile the neighbor slowly walked up underneath me in the tree.  I pleaded with him.  I shouted "please sir have mercy on me".  I then shouted "PLEASE SIR!"  as he raised his gun for the kill shot.  The mean man let out a final rebel yell and instead of shooting me, which would have ended it, he hit the branch I was holding on to.  I fell about 30 feet and landed on the mean man. 

I guess this man was a former Green Beret because he stood up, wielded some kind of ninja chain, stood about 5 feet from me, and unleashed whipping punishment.  This weapon had some kind of blade on the end.  I screamed as loud as I could.  Kind of like the villain in Iron Man 2, the guy started taunting me by slapping this weapon on the ground as he walked closer.  Right when he was about to hit me with the death blow, a woman tackled him and pinned him down.  The man was 97 years old so it wasn't hard.  So my day ended with a woman taking out a lunatic man I could not handle.  This only made my self confidence fall even lower. 

Looking back I wonder why he missed the kill shot and only caused me to suffer more?  Was it on purpose?  I can only ponder this question and ask:  Why me?

Year to year acquisitions of random variables will not help you in this endeavor.  Only the steadfast will wield the correct obliterator.  Obtain a contusion?  That's what happens when you try to get notoriety for your handling skills.  Yes it sucks but you need to accept it.

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

Daniel

Do you still feel the pain of the scars that won't heal

Proto I just got out of jail

mike wtf do you know that policeman a few pages back abusing that defenseless baby squirrel?    Who is he? 

It makes me furious! 

I need to take a break after that.  After I post here I will go climb the trees, hopefully the squirrels are still friends with me.

IWIN wtf were you doing in jail?  IWIN did you get a DUI?  Maybe you need to take some self control classes.  Maybe you can sign up online.  WTF happened Iwin?

On a side note I am now crying.  I'm crying because of the man who pepper sprayed the baby squirrel and I'm crying because of Iwin's recent tough times. 

Iwin if you need me to I will unleash punishment on myself, video tape it, and send it to court for you to show that somebody has taken punishment in your place.  You are that important to me Iwin.

Post 3 in a row.  I am very sorry. 

dytide yes I do feel the pain from the scars that won't heal.  Emotional pain.  Mental pain.  Physical pain.  Sometimes I squeal out loud like a pig.

Post 4 in a row.  Again I am so sorry.  WTF is EBB doing in jail?  Does he have anyone to visit him?  I'm crying because my good friend equalblueberries is in jail.  I may hit myself with a hammer.

Proto...if that senile old decrepted inbreeder was abusing you mercilessly in my presence I would have decapitated him with one swoop from my machete and let you watch as I kicked him head into the street...

mike boy I wish you were there before that old man let out his rebel yell and unleashed a shotgun blast onto my left arm.  mike can I hire you for security?  I could only pay you with free Netflix movies.

no payment is necessary...I find the work enjoyable...

Proto star. how is it that you can afford netflix movies?  And if you are why havent you spent 9.99 on the latest parlay.  If you ever will start feeling humane again it will be after you have successfully won the parlay or adopted a heard of squirrels to nestle with you in your stages of depression

This thread has potential....

Proto ... I slammed someones head off there own car after a disagreement