All Forums | Website Promotions

getting dumped....how did you get over it?

...

Participants:

Posts: 365

CrusCrnshw

MVP

Joined: May, 2005

Posts: 16017

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 9:24 AM ET #101

dude, let me tell you something. Im going thru something very similar right now. not for long distance, but I was recently let go for reasons other than "love"...everyone needs their closure, and maybe this was yours in its own way. If you treated her well, she wont hate you for what you did. It might make her sad for doing so, but ultimately you did it...and you cant look back. I did something similar to this too and that is how the girl felt...made her think, she felt bad, etc etc...dont knock yourself for it.

anyone in here telling you to "forget her" and all that and how youare a "box" dont listen to them. everyone handles shit different, and dont beat yourself up over that. you are probably questioning a lot of things in your life right now, and thats normal. Sounds like you handle break ups very tough. Some of us do. take in all the advice you see, here, your friends and all that and try and stay busy. In the end you have to make the decisions for what is best for you. Pool everything together and youu will find something to do that can at least hold you over until it is easier....

BOL...btw was there ever a thought for you to move there? did you want to marry this girl? did she want to marry you?

ocd

Veteran

Joined: Feb, 2011

Posts: 1581

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 9:30 AM ET #102

Quote Originally Posted by TdotCapper:

I would make another thread for this question but whatever.. if you had to choose, between love or money what would you choose? Basically a Soul mate or millions and millions of dollars like Charlie Sheen. I'd say hands down the money

can your soulmate be the big faces?

"hundreds and fifties...b*tches with titties?"

https://youtu.be/WsiXldVSMHw

Messier-11

All-Star

Joined: Aug, 2009

Posts: 11184

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 9:53 AM ET #103

Quote Originally Posted by CrusCrnshw:

dude, let me tell you something. Im going thru something very similar right now. not for long distance, but I was recently let go for reasons other than "love"...everyone needs their closure, and maybe this was yours in its own way. If you treated her well, she wont hate you for what you did. It might make her sad for doing so, but ultimately you did it...and you cant look back. I did something similar to this too and that is how the girl felt...made her think, she felt bad, etc etc...dont knock yourself for it.

anyone in here telling you to "forget her" and all that and how youare a "box" dont listen to them. everyone handles shit different, and dont beat yourself up over that. you are probably questioning a lot of things in your life right now, and thats normal. Sounds like you handle break ups very tough. Some of us do. take in all the advice you see, here, your friends and all that and try and stay busy. In the end you have to make the decisions for what is best for you. Pool everything together and youu will find something to do that can at least hold you over until it is easier....

BOL...btw was there ever a thought for you to move there? did you want to marry this girl? did she want to marry you?

when she was here two weeks ago she was even joking about when am I going to propose. She was planning on moving in with me sometime after Christmas. She started looking for jobs right when she left here and was having a tough time finding anything at first glance. I think that got her down. I told her on the phone I'd move to Chicago when I could and she didn't want me throwing away my life out here for her or some bullshit. I'm in middle of graduate program, have a house out here, and a solid job. Idk....fuck it

kaponofor3

Legend

Joined: Nov, 2007

Posts: 35430

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 10:00 AM ET #104

Far, far easier to acquire money than a soul mate. I'd take the soul mate.

kaponofor3

Legend

Joined: Nov, 2007

Posts: 35430

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 10:03 AM ET #105

Messier -- the lack of sleep is normal and to be expected. When I went through the first real serious, significant heartache in my life, I didn't sleep a wink for what felt like a month. I did a lot of reading, trying to expand my mental capacity and focused on learning new things to help keep my mind occupied. Read about a lot of different religions, philosophies, cosmology, you know the real "big picture" type of stuff. It really helped give me some context and perspective at a time that I desperately needed it.

michaelpaul1

Banned

Joined: Mar, 2007

Posts: 22613

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 10:12 AM ET #106

Quote Originally Posted by willneverstop:

THE SAD PART IS THE ONLY PERSON CRYING ABOUT THIS ALBUM IS YOU, SHE IS CRYING CAUSE SOME GUYS DICK IS SO DEEP IN HER SHE CANT EVEN BREATHE, BRO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, GO GET ANOTHER BROAD, SERIOUSLY.

true...and her caling at 3 am sounds like her booty call just finished up with her...get a fn clue man...grow a pair and move the f on ...

CrusCrnshw

MVP

Joined: May, 2005

Posts: 16017

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 10:13 AM ET #107

How did this break up go down? I mean were you two having problems past the normal relationship stuff? was this 100% out of left field?

Have you found out all of her feelings? honesty is always thebest. In the end, if you two dont make it, which I hope you do, you always want to know the truth. Maybe she is having doubts...scared, etc etc. ?

AustinHoopDream

Banned

Joined: Feb, 2006

Posts: 8408

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 10:21 AM ET #108

dude, i am here in chicago. can i have her number? i promise we will just talk about you as we drive down LSD in my convertible porsche with her hand on my unit....

michaelpaul1

Banned

Joined: Mar, 2007

Posts: 22613

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 10:22 AM ET #109

ok with the Dr. Phils in here already...

dude she broke up with you in a minute conversation over the phone and you went out with her for how long....

its called fn respect...and she has none for you...just be lucky you didnt get married like some poor slobs here and watch as she takes half yer shit and some other dude is banging yer ex-wife in the house you are paying for...and from the sound of it...this girl sounds the type...

BE THANKFUL!

ocd

Veteran

Joined: Feb, 2011

Posts: 1581

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 10:24 AM ET #110

you will over analyze this for a while...

been there. still there. gotta say f*ck it.

maybe it will, maybe it wont. hope she is faithful...

11/5 - kill a hoe - 1995

https://youtu.be/8ONm5pwr7rY

ocd

Veteran

Joined: Feb, 2011

Posts: 1581

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 10:34 AM ET #111

Quote Originally Posted by michaelpaul1:

ok with the Dr. Phils in here already...

dude she broke up with you in a minute conversation over the phone and you went out with her for how long....

BE THANKFUL!

wow...mp...

everything begins and ends with respect...

TdotCapper

Banned

Joined: Jan, 2010

Posts: 711

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 10:53 AM ET #112

Quote Originally Posted by ocd:

can your soulmate be the big faces?

"hundreds and fifties...b*tches with titties?"

https://youtu.be/WsiXldVSMHw

ocd

Veteran

Joined: Feb, 2011

Posts: 1581

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 10:58 AM ET #113

tdot,

i quoted it wrong,

but message is clear...

Messier-11

All-Star

Joined: Aug, 2009

Posts: 11184

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 11:13 AM ET #114

Going to get some xanax this afternoon. I'll be fine after that. Shit makes me numb. I'l take that for a few days and watch some comedies. Tossing and turning all night thinking about everything was hell. With a xanax before bed I'll be in a coma. Problem solved....I gotta watch out though and only take it for a little. I really don't want to get hooked on it.

dopalicous

Veteran

Joined: Dec, 2007

Posts: 3468

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 11:38 AM ET #115

That aint gonna solve the problem.......but you will catch a nice buzz...

CrusCrnshw

MVP

Joined: May, 2005

Posts: 16017

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 11:46 AM ET #116

messier, a few days isnt going to heal you from the way you seem to feel. cliche but time helps. occupy yourself doing whatever, movies, friends, working out, sports,...something....anything

JD232

Captain

Joined: Jun, 2009

Posts: 5332

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 12:45 PM ET #117

Quote Originally Posted by Messier-11:

The "joking" was probably a test to see where your head was at. If she wants to get engaged and you don't show much interest she may think your a lost cause

A buddy of mine got dumped after a 6 year relationship because he wouldn't take the next step and commit. For all you know she may have been expecting a proposal while she was in town

cocky24

Veteran

Joined: Sep, 2006

Posts: 3375

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 1:16 PM ET #118

Nail her best friend!!!!! You will feel alot better!!!!!!!!!

Messier-11

All-Star

Joined: Aug, 2009

Posts: 11184

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 1:36 PM ET #119

if i had access to her best friend long distance wouldn't be an issue

HutchEmAll

Legend

Joined: Jan, 2004

Posts: 38704

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 1:42 PM ET #120

Quote Originally Posted by Nut_Flopper:

I remember posting a topic like this on covers about 6 years ago when some ho bag gutted me.

It's easy to say but all you can do is stay busy and in time it will slowly get better as each day passes.

I remember this thread and you are right. You can't pretend someone is dead. I still think of one of my exes who crushed me. But I'm not obsessed with it like I was. It's comfortable.

Do not sit around and listen to the music you used to screw to. Or do the things you used to do. Get busy with ANYTHING. Hobby....interest. For me, I actually was considering buying a personal watercraft....so I decided to go for it. I had a couple of friends who had them and it was a great distraction. And ironically, I ended up dating a gal I worked with who was into that big time. Our first date was on the lake and we were in the sack a few weeks later (this was months after I had gotten dumped).

I have always been a model freak and I did a few of those (set up my table in front of the TV and went to town). It helped for the time when I was at home alone (kept my mind occupied).

HutchEmAll

Legend

Joined: Jan, 2004

Posts: 38704

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 2:03 PM ET #121

You were obviously hooked into this thing way harder than she was. But you didn't know that and now you're like, "what happened." She may have brought up marriage last time you saw her, but that probably just reinforced her feelings for not wanting to be in the relationship.

When I got crushed, we had had a few long conversations about the issues we had (it was mostly me spending more time with friends than her).....I thought we had come to an understanding.....we had some wine....I stayed over and we had unbelieveable sex (I am getting a half mast just thinking about it). Woke up, romped again.....took a shower together, and I went off to work one happy camper.

She calls me that night and breaks it off....suddenly I realize that I just got used for break-up sex. Believe me, it was awesome, but that was like a swift punch to the gut. Obviously, my gal had spent the previous few months in the emotional meatgrinder preparing to break up. Didn't change her passion that last night. But she was much further along in the "process" than I was.

You are in the same boat.

And it makes you keep asking "why." All that does is make it worse. The sooner you convince yourself that there is nothing you can do about it....and stop trying to find a reason "why," the much better off you will be. And time is the ONLY thing that will help.

HutchEmAll

Legend

Joined: Jan, 2004

Posts: 38704

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 2:08 PM ET #122

And when I say she was further along in the emotional meatgrinder than I was, I mean she was at home crying when I was out partying and having a good time with my friends.

Think about when you've broken up with someone. It's usually not that emotional because you have already gone through all that leading up to the actual break up. The hardest part is just saying the words. That's usually why one person is crying their eyes out and the other seems to handle it pretty well.

I broke up with someone once and she was crushed. Well it wasn't that hard for me because I had been thinking about it for some time and knew she wasn't the one.

You're on the crap side of this one, but I know most have been on both sides at some point in their life.

mikkii10

Rookie

Joined: Oct, 2004

Posts: 683

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 2:22 PM ET #123

Quote Originally Posted by The Hawk:

Whatever you do, don't turn yourself into a "rebounder"

I don't wanna hear

"I can find someone right here" No, you can't. If you could, you would have.

"She looks a lot like......" Great. Way to remind yourself.

"I knew she was too good for me" It's her loss. She's the one that quit.

Like the Sinatra song, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, start all over again.................

Where to start? In a new direction. You now have more time to.......run.........go to Vegas.............etc. There has got to be something you can improve on, study harder. Ball games? Blackjack? Something more practical? God forbid, better employee. Ever bring donuts to work? First time for everything.

Don't go looking. Don't remind yourself. When it happens, you'll know. When you're ready to jump back in, let her know. I don't mean on the 1st date, but you'll know when. Don't tell her you got dumped, just a bad separation. Tell her you're being honest, and you expect the same. Tell her you're "as is", because you are busy investing time in yourself-you wanna come along-you're welcome to enjoy the ride.

If you stay the same, expect the same results. Just change one thing. Just one. Then work on something else. This test will not be timed-but get going!

yes dont rebound been there there done that it dont work

drJ

Captain

Joined: Nov, 2006

Posts: 6898

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 3:03 PM ET #124

Quote Originally Posted by Messier-11:

Going to get some xanax this afternoon. I'll be fine after that. Shit makes me numb. I'l take that for a few days and watch some comedies. Tossing and turning all night thinking about everything was hell. With a xanax before bed I'll be in a coma. Problem solved....I gotta watch out though and only take it for a little. I really don't want to get hooked on it.

take a full dose for a few nights then maybe half for a few, no more than 2 weeks.... this drug is never the answer long term. dont mix booze.

all i know is that all my bad emotions would clear every time i found vaginal tissue.

if shes not telling you the reason, dont think about why. women were born unhappy.

Ktrain

Captain

Joined: Oct, 2009

Posts: 6580

Posted: Jun. 8, 2011 - 4:42 PM ET #125

Wow, I haven't been involved in a break up in a few years and this thread makes me feel better about my next break up.

This thread should really be archived. That way whenever it happens to another Covers Member in the future it can easily be referenced.

All Forums | Website Promotions

getting dumped....how did you get over it?

Hot Forum Topics