Super Bowl LIX is a great time to be a fan of the Philadelphia Eagles and Kansas City Chiefs.
But what about fans of the other 30 NFL teams? They have to watch the Big Game with wistfulness, left only to dream about a day when their team can contend for the Lombardi Trophy.
If you count yourself among the unlucky 30 fanbases without a dog in the Super Bowl fight, here are some simple reasons to cheer for either the Eagles or the Chiefs on Sunday, February 9.
AFC West
Denver Broncos: Kansas City
The quicker Patrick Mahomes can build his legacy, the quicker he can retire without regrets. Denver isn't going anywhere until he’s gone.
Los Angeles Chargers: Philadelphia
Former OC Kellen Moore got a cup of coffee in L.A. before taking the job in Philly. And, you know, F the Chiefs.
Las Vegas Raiders: Undecided
We’ll wait and see who the bookies need on Super Bowl Sunday.
NFC East
Dallas Cowboys: Brian Schottenheimer
Once again, the Cowboys make a terrible choice.
New York Giants: Kansas City
GM Joe Schoen doesn’t need another reason for people to call him an idiot after letting Saquon Barkley walk.
Washington Commanders: Kansas City
The Eagles dropped a double nickel on the Commies in the NFC title game. Stings a bit.
AFC East
Buffalo Bills: Philadelphia
The Bills are not only cheering for the Eagles but rooting for the NFL to “shot spot” the ball for the 2025 season.
Miami Dolphins: Philadelphia
Head coach Mike McDaniel was part of the offensive staff in San Francisco that lost to Kansas City in Super Bowl LIV. So, screw those guys.
New York Jets: *Uncontrollable sobbing*
FYI: The Jets had +2000 Super Bowl odds in August… just behind Philly at +1,500.
New England Patriots: Philadelphia
Mahomes and Reid can do something that not even Brady and Belichick could do: win three straight titles. That won’t fly in Foxborough.
NFC North
Chicago Bears: Kansas City
Bears GM Ryan Poles cut his teeth as an executive in Kansas City. How’s that “championship pedigree” panning out?
Detroit Lions: Team Ruff (Puppy Bowl)
Watching the Super Bowl will be too heartbreaking for the Lions, who were Big Game favorites for most of the season. The Puppy Bowl could be just what the doctor ordered for depressed Detroit.
Green Bay Packers: Kansas City
The Packers lost the first game of the season and the last game of the season to the Eagles. Plus, the Cheesheads will always have a soft spot for former assistant Andy Reid.
Minnesota Vikings: Kansas City
The Vikings had an identical 14-3 record as the Eagles. But to quote halftime performer Kendrick Lamar, “They not like us”.
AFC North
Baltimore Ravens: Philadelphia
Outside of their rivalry with the Chiefs, the Ravens have a connection to Eagles DC Vic Fangio. He served as an assistant/coach for four seasons in Charm City.
Cleveland Browns: Philadelphia
Cleveland let Kareem Hunt walk in the offseason, eventually finding his way back to Kansas City and a spot in the Super Bowl. Making the Browns look bad is about as tough as a toddler’s 5-piece puzzle these days.
Cincinnati Bengals: Philadelphia
Cincinnati is the only other AFC teams to play in a Super Bowl over the past six years. What could have been Bengals fans…
Pittsburgh Steelers: Kansas City
For decades, Pittsburgh has been the prominent NFL team in Pennsylvania. Philadelphia could close that gap for state-wide bragging rights.
NFC South
Atlanta Falcons: Kenny Pickett +20000 to win MVP
The Falcons continue to waste money on crappy quarterbacks.
Carolina Panthers: Philadelphia
Carolina blew a fourth quarter lead against Philly in Week 14, so it’s got to feel pretty good about hanging with the potential Super Bowl champs. The Panthers need to celebrate the simple things in life.
New Orleans Saints: Hydraulic Fluid
The host city couldn’t care less about who wins Super Bowl LIX. Just keep those damn Eagles fans off the frickin’ light poles. New Orleans Public Works should be stocking up on hydraulic fluid, which is what Philly uses to grease its poles. That sounded dirty.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Philadelphia
The Bucs beats the Eagles back in Week 4, serving up a 33-16 backhand to the Birds. If Philadelphia wins, at least Tampa Bay can say it beat the champs.
AFC South
Houston Texans: Kansas City
The Texans did get eliminated by the Chiefs in the Divisional Round, but KC conceding that safety was a gift from the gambling gods for Houston bettors taking +9.5.
Indianapolis Colts: Philadelphia
Philadelphia head coach Nick Sirianni earned his current role after a successful run as the Colts offensive coordinator, navigating that franchise through the sudden retirement of Andrew Luck.
Jacksonville Jaguars: Nobody cares
Seriously, nobody cares who Jags fans are cheering for.
Tennessee Titans: Philadelphia
A.J. Brown got out of Nashville just in time but I’m sure there are plenty of folks in the Titans organization that are rooting for him in SBLIX. Well, maybe not Treylon Burks.
NFC West
Arizona Cardinals: Philadelphia
Former Eagles DC Jonathan Gannon parlayed a Super Bowl appearance in 2023 into his current gig as Arizona’s head coach.
Los Angeles Rams: Kansas City
If you told the Rams they would hold Philadelphia to just 65 passing yards in the Divisional Round, they’d ask how much they won the game by? Blame it on the snow.
San Francisco 49ers: Neither
The 49ers were the favorites to win Super Bowl LIX heading into the season. After another disappointing finish, I’m pretty sure the entire Bay Area is sitting out Sunday’s game.
Seattle Seahawks: Philadelphia
Seattle head coach and former Baltimore DC Mike Macdonald watched his Super Bowl dreams die due to the Chiefs in the 2023-24 AFC Championship Game. Macdonald’s defense checked Kansas City to just 17 points but still came up short.
